Honeymoon Blues
by iloveromance
Summary: When Niles experiences a painful sunburn following his honeymoon with Daphne in Tahiti she realizes that she must find a way to soothe his aching skin as well as his aching heart. An AU version of a scene from "Crock Tales" that featured Rosie Perez.
1. Chapter 1

Daphne carefully helped Niles out of the car and together they slowly made their way into the Elliot Bay Towers.

"Are you going to be all right, Sweetheart?"

Niles winced as he moved as carefully as possible.

"Yes, my love; I'll behind. I'm just... a little slower than normal."

"It's all right Darling. Just take your time."

"No, you go on ahead. I'll catch up; eventually." Niles replied; wincing again as they approached the elevator.

"Are you sure?"

"Very." Niles answered, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. When he drew back,

Daphne blushed deeply, her cheeks turning almost as red as his sunburned skin.

The sight of her bashfulness made Niles smile roguishly. "I still have that effect on you, don't I?"

His comment made her blush even deeper and he couldn't help but chuckle.

"Daphne, what's gotten into you?"

"I don't know." She said, her voice almost childlike. "I just... I can hardly believe that we're married."

He encircled her in his arms and kissed her tenderly. "You're not disappointed are you?"

"Only that I didn't realize that you loved me years before. I mean, when I think of all the time we missed-."

He silenced her with a kiss. "That's in the past, my angel. I know I made a mistake in not telling you before, but I plan to spend the rest of our lives making up for lost time."

Daphne melted into his arms. "I Love you, Darling."

"I love you too."

"Now come on. Your brother and father are going to think something happened to us!"

"I'll be right behind you... give or take a few feet."

Niles attempt at humor made her smile and she reluctantly went ahead of him and waited at Frasier's front door. After several minutes, Niles finally stepped off the elevator, prompting Daphne to ring the doorbell.

Seconds later, the door was answered and she was greeted with hugs and kisses from Frasier and a wave from Martin.

"Well, welcome back! How was the honeymoon?"

Daphne sighed, remembering the blissful week she'd had with her new husband.

"Oh... Tahiti was absolutely wonderful! Well, except for poor Niles getting sunburned."

She turned to find Niles staggering into the condo with a smile plastered on his face.

"Hello, all." He said weakly.

"Good Lord, Niles! You look like you crawled out of a bisque!"

Daphne rolled her eyes at Frasier's harsh comment, but Niles seemed unfazed.

"You sound like someone who doesn't want his souvenir Paul Gauguin oven mitt!" Niles retorted, flashing the ridiculous designer kitchen item in front of his brother's face.

Leave it to Frasier to request the most absurd souvenir known to man. Why couldn't he ask for something normal like a t-shirt?

"Niles! You remembered!" Frasier said, enthusiastically taking the oven mitt from Niles.

Daphne sat down on the sofa and waited patiently for Niles to join her.

"Sherry, Niles?" Frasier was asking.

"I'd love some. Thanks."

Glass in hand, Niles smiled at his brother. "You look awfully debonair this evening. Don't tell me you dressed up because of Daphne and I."

"Of course not!" Frasier said quickly, causing Daphne to glare at him.

"Actually I may have to cut our visit short because Roz is coming over with someone she wants me to meet."

"A lady friend?" Niles grinned as he finally reached the sofa and sat down.

Frasier smirked. "No, we're going to join a jazz trio, you cherry-faced fool!"

Daphne fumed, doing her best to remain calm.

How dare her brother in law treat Niles with such disrespect! Couldn't he see that his brother was in pain?

Daphne smiled; feigning interest in Frasier's latest attempt at finding a soul mate.

"So who is this woman?"

"Well Daphne, I didn't get her name. But Roz and I have set up a safety word in case the evening should turn out badly. All I have to do is say _enchant'e_ and Roz will know that I'm not interested."

The doorbell rang and Roz walked in with an attractive woman who wore a dress that was much too revealing for Daphne's taste; much less for a blind date.

"Well, Roz!" Frasier said, rushing eagerly to greet her at the door. "I see you've brought a guest!"

"Pleased to meet you, Elizabeth." Frasier said politely; extending his hand.

"_Lis-beth_." She corrected with a heavy New York accent that was tinged with annoyance.

"I told you I was going to, didn't I?" Roz snapped. "Frasier Crane this is my friend Lisbeth."

"Pleased to meet you, Elizabeth." Frasier said, shaking Lisbeth's hand warmly.

Doing her best to ignore Frasier and this annoying woman, Daphne focused her attention on Martin.

Within seconds they were making small talk about the Seattle Mariners, a subject on which she was only slightly more educated than Niles or Frasier.

She could tell from Martin's rambling that he'd had more than enough of this Lisbeth woman.

"I'm going to bed!" He declared a few minutes later.

"Goodnight, Martin" Daphne said, kissing his cheek.

"Night, Niles. Hope that sunburn feels better. It looks like it hurts like hell."

"Thanks, Dad." Niles said, accepting his father's gentle hug.

Daphne turned to Niles and they exchanged a smile. It wasn't often that Martin was the more reasonable one.

When Martin was gone, Daphne turned to Niles. " We should probably go, Darling."

"Yes." Frasier said. "You wouldn't want our _warm weather_ to _bake _you any more than you already are. Right, Niles?"

Infuriated by yet another sarcastic comment, Daphne rose from the sofa and took Niles' hand.

"Come on, Niles. Let's get out of here."

"But Daphne-."

Niles shrugged at his brother and then ignored his protests as Daphne led him out of the condo and slammed the door behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

Slowly they made their way to the parking garage where Daphne gently helped Niles into the car.

"I wish you'd let me drive, my angel." Niles pleaded for what was at least the tenth time since they'd come home from Tahiti. As though trying to tempt her, he reached for her hand and squeezed gently.

She shook her head and lightly touched his cheek. "Just relax Darling and we'll be home soon. I don't mind driving at all."

They drove in silence and when the car slowed in front of Café Nervosa, Niles sighed.  
"Daphne can we stop for coffee?"

She turned to him in surprise. He usually didn't like going out this late and she had to admit that this unusual request worried her a bit.

"I think a hot drink might make your sunburn feel worse. Why don't I make you a nice iced drink when we get home?"

His pleading glance melted her heart; the way his eyes took on a boyish glow.

"Please? Actually I'm not really interested in a drink per say. I just thought we could talk."

More worry crept into her chest. This wasn't like him at all. But his sincerity caused her rationality to all but disappear.

"All right. I'll pull over here. Actually after that fiasco at your brother's I could use a bit of tea meself."

Minutes later they were walking through the door of Café Nervosa.

The baristas looked up in surprise; no doubt in shock at Niles appearance but the fact that he was arriving so late in the evening. Fortunately, no one made light of it.

"What can I get for you, Dr. Crane? Mrs. Crane?"

"Hello, Taylor. Nice to see you." Daphne said politely. "I'll have a cup of tea and would you please bring me husband an iced mocha?"

"Daphne, I'm perfectly capable of-."

"Now Niles, I don't want you drinking anything that will make you feel worse."

He reached for her hand bringing it to his lips for a kiss. "Thank you, my angel."

"Whoa! What happened to you?"

At Bulldog's hysterical laughter, Daphne looked up in annoyance. When she glanced at Niles, his expression told her that he was equally as annoyed.

"If you must know, Bulldog I acquired this horrible sunburn on my honeymoon with Daphne in Tahiti!"

"Wait... you did what?"

"I-."

Bulldog laughed even harder. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! I mean, I can't believe this! Doc Crane ruined his honeymoon! So are you guys headed for divorce or what?"

"BULLDOG!" Daphne yelled, while Niles' mouth fell open in shock.

"Hey, it's just a question." Bulldog retorted.

"Yeah? Well here's an answer; Get out!" Daphne yelled.

When Bulldog was gone, she sighed and turned to Niles; surprised to find sadness in his eyes.

"I'm sorry about that, Sweetheart. Now what did you want to talk to me about?"

Niles took her hands and squeezed. "Daphne, I'm afraid that Bulldog is right."

"What are you talking about?"

He sighed deeply, looking as though he might cry.

"I've ruined our honeymoon."


	3. Chapter 3

Daphne could only stare at Niles in disbelief.

"Niles, that's ridiculous! You didn't ruin anything!"

"You're an angel for saying so but I'm afraid it's true. And I'm... so sorry."  
When he hung his head low, his sad expression brought tears to Daphne's eyes.

Instantly she moved closer to him and rubbed his back.

"Sweetheart, you did nothing of the kind! How could you even think that?"

"Because it's true." He said so quietly that she barely heard him.

"Niles, no..."

"Daphne, look at me! I'm as red as a lobster!" Niles yelled, startling her and the few remaining patrons in Café Nervosa.

"You'd think a man of my intelligence would have enough sense to apply sunscreen protection on a tropical island where the temperature rarely dips below-."

"Niles, please!"

"I was enjoying myself so much that using sunscreen completely slipped my mind and instead of the romantic honeymoon that you dreamt of, I managed to obtain this horrible sunburn; forcing us to spend the rest of our trip in bed in our hotel room! I'm a disgrace of a husband."

"You're a wonderful husband." Daphne said firmly. "You're kind, sweet, considerate, and a heck of a lot more caring than your brother. Even after all this time I still can't believe you fell in love with me. As for our honeymoon, I was blissfully happy wherever we were because I was with _you_; not because we were on some beach!"

"I love you so much, Daphne." Niles said, gathering her into his arms. He kissed her deeply, wincing at the pain it created.

"Oh Niles, your sunburn!"

But he only smiled and kissed her repeatedly until she playfully pushed him away.

"Niles, people are staring!" She laughed. "What will they think of us, making such a scene?"

"They're probably envious, wondering how someone like me ended up with such a beautiful angel." Niles replied.

Daphne trailed her finger seductively but gently across Niles' chest.

"Or perhaps they're jealous of me incredibly sexy husband."

Niles kissed her once more. "What would I do without you, my angel?"

"I don't even want to think about it, Sweetheart." Daphne replied, leaning her forehead against hers.

Finally she took his hand and smiled. "Come on, Sweetheart, let's go home and get you into a nice cool bath. And then..."

He leaned foreword, almost stumbling in an attempt to hear more.

"And then... what?"

"Well, I'll fetch some aloe cream and rub it all over your sunburned body. Trust me, you'll feel better in no time."

"Check please!" Niles yelled.

"You know... I was thinking... There's plenty of aloe cream at home so after I take care of your sunburned skin, you can rub some all over _my_ sunburned body."

"That sounds heavenly, my angel..." Niles sighed. "But Daphne... Your skin isn't sunburned so why-."

He stopped suddenly and turned to find her walking seductively out of the cafe; turning to give him a glance that sent his heart racing and his thoughts spinning out of control.

Without waiting for the check, he removed some money from his wallet and laid it on the table, rushing to catch up with his wife.

"Dr Crane! Mrs. Crane! This is too much money!" Taylor called after them. "Don't you want your change?"

But Niles and Daphne didn't hear her. They were already walking hand in hand; eager to get home and start the rest of their blissful lives together.

**THE END**

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed it and as always reviews are appreciated! Thanks so much for reading! As always thank you to Kristen for giving me the basic idea for this story. *hugs*  
**


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